When I lived in New York, most women I saw and knew got catcalled an average of about once a day. Most of the men I knew never catcalled anyone.

Obviously anecdotal evidence based just on people I knew means little, but let’s assume, allowing for culturally maintained age and beauty standards, however unfair, it’s more like 15 or 25% of women getting catcalled daily. That’s still millions. And they’re going to be getting catcalled by a very small, specific group of people with motive, means and opportunity to do so (guys working outside on the street from a class and cultural background in which catcalling is acceptable). Can’t be more than 1 in 50 or even 1 in 100 dudes in Manhattan, tops.

You do the math.

No seriously, can yo do the math? Because I can’t. Well, won’t. I did ok in statistics in college but it took effort and I just want to pretend this is a thing: it just seems like each catcaller has a lot of catcalls to make each day in order to sustain the practice on that level. Thousands, even. Like, they might have to skip lunch and work overtime to work them in.

Here’s my LA version of that half-baked idea:

Who is buying all the donuts, y’all? I buy one $.80 donut per year (today was the day!) and when I worked at an office someone might bring in a dozen once or twice per year. Nobody I know ever buys donuts. I know there are other groups of people in LA who buy more than the people I know, but still. There are, and this is a rough estimate, ONE MILLION donut shops in LA still, even after the yogurt craze has come and almost gone. After the cupcake craze has come and sort of gone. And donuts cost 1/5 what yogurt and cupcakes cost and those stores look empty every time I pass them.

What I am getting at is that in order to sustain all these donut shops, my calculations indicate that one of you is eating two dozen donuts a day.  

It’s probably Kate Freund.