Had a student in office hours yesterday that I could have sworn was a plant sent by a friend or a hidden camera show. Kept coming and standing right next to me with her test and pointing at answers she got wrong and saying in the quietest, most timid voice, “why did i get this wrong because in section my TA said that was the answer” (her TA didn’t. it wasn’t). She was so quiet and so timid that I couldn’t believe she was for real. She reminded me of something not real that I couldn’t put my finger on.

Just realized that what she was doing was a perfect impression of Hooks from the Police Academy movies. If Hooks were 18, Asian, 90 pounds, and really wanted an A-. I wish now that after the 20th time I said “Your TA couldn’t have said that. That’s not the answer. You can have her regrade this but she’s going to tell you the same thing,” she would have pulled her service revolver and said “DON’T MOVE, DIRTBAG!” and held me hostage until Mahoney got there to sweet talk me into raising her grade. 

No Such Luck. Everyone kept everything holstered, nobody threatened to shoot me, and we all went home and watched Top Chef.